Advice to New Mothers

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop this week asked for Advice to New Mothers. The timing couldn't be more perfect.

I just got back from a family wedding where I spent an inordinate amount of time wondering if my kids were well-behaved enough. You see, there are some family members who really like quiet, and kids, even good ones, aren't quiet all the time.

I worried so much that I was on my kids ALL THE TIME. Then, later, I felt guilty. Why couldn't I let my kids just be kids? They weren't running around like wild children, misbehaving in restaurants, or disturbing others. They were just playing in ways kids play.

Mothers are constantly bombarded by know-it-all-advice from others. I've heard that kids don't behave like they used to because their parents don't teach them well. I've heard how kids are fat because all parents feed them is junk. I've heard that kids should be banned from restaurants because other people don't want to see them when they are out to eat. It's as if all children will run around destroying public places if they even set foot in them.

Then there are the other mothers — you have to wear your baby, your baby needs time out of the sling, your baby is too hot, your baby is too cold, it's horrible to circumsize your kid, it's horrible not to. Formula kills, allowing them to breastfeed until 2 makes them weird.

My advice is this — don't listen to the "advice." There are enough things to worry about, and what other people think about the decisions you make for your kids shouldn't even be on the radar. Make informed decisions, but in the end, what actually matters is that you love your children, teach them to stand up for themselves and help them learn to care for and respect other people. As for the rest of it, put on your blinders and ignore the "advice."