National Premature Awareness Day

Did you know that one in eight babies is born too soon? Today is National Premature Awareness Day, and I just wanted to publicly thank all of the nicu nurses who cared for my baby late at night when she couldn't be home with me for her first 18 days of life. The nicu nurses who cared for Anne Marie are incredibly competent health care providers, but they are much more. They sit with crying parents, and compassionately deal with women who are emotional from the roller coaster of pregnancy combined with uncertainty about their children. They take 1 a.m. calls from mothers who are up pumping, wishing they could be up feeding their baby instead — I never called, but they always offered, and it made a difference just knowing that I could.

They always made sure that all the little girls, even the tiniest ones, had bows in their hair and that all babies had specially decorated nameplates on their isolettes. I don't know if they understand how much that touched me and relieved my anxiety. I felt like it was a sign that they cared for her, not just as a patient, but as a little girl. In my mind, I thought, "If a nurse is going to take the time to comb my baby's hair and put bows in it, she sees her as a person, and really cares."

I credit the nicu nurses for bringing my little girl from here:

From Anne Marie hospital

To here:

From Anne Marie hospital

To here:

From Redfish 2007

It's because of them that I have this cute little girl today:

From Teton Park and fair

So, nicu nurses, know that we are forever grateful, and that you and those you care for are always in my prayers. 

Mean Girls

I came across this blog posting this morning. Not only was it wonderfully written, but it had a great point about how to create a kinder world.

For anyone who doesn't read it, the blogger talked about how as parents, when we let our kids to say no to playdates or birthday parties, simply because they would rather not play with a particular child, it can sometimes send a bad message. It talks about how it is our job to teach our children kindness towards others, and by helping them to socialize with other types of children, we are teaching them to live well in the world. She mentioned her daughter, who was shunned by her once-friends at school in a pretty classic girl-bullying situation. In the comments, there were many stories from adults who remembered inviting the entire class to a birthday party and had no one show up. To me, it's heartbreaking.

We want to give our children choices and freedom, and for the most part, that's a good thing. I give Anne Marie clothing choices. I let her pick the vegetable we have for dinner each night. She can choose who she wants to invite to her birthday party, but she can't choose not to be compassionate. To quote one my favorite parts of the blog:

... don't make it seem like rejecting another child's friendly overtures is some sort of noble or enlightened choice. It's not. It's mean and selfish. Unless there are safety issues, it's a way to send a message to your child that you don't have to care about anyone unless it's an easy thing for you to do.

My kids don't have to like everyone, but I hope they always know to be compassionate and respectful to everyone.
Children can be cruel to each other, and many times, it can be for no reason other than the wrong hair color or a strange shirt. Even at 3, Anne Marie was completely devastated when another little girl at daycare told her, "I'm not your friend anymore." She talked about it for days. According to her teacher, she was heartbroken, and sobbed when it happened.

Luckily, at 3, these things blow over — the girl said she was sorry and gave Anne Marie a hug, and things were better, at least a little bit. And I've heard Anne Marie turn a girl down who asked, "Will you be my best friend today?" The girl, unfazed, said, "Well, then will you be my best friend when we go outside?" Anne Marie said, "Sure."

But as my children grow, I know there will be other times, and probably some times when they are the ones who choose to be unkind. We all have moments like that, and most of us regret them.

There are plenty of things I want to teach my children, but the most important is empathy. It's not necessarily innate for a child to think of how another child feels before acting. It's something we have to teach them. And if everyone took a moment to consider others before opening their mouths, I think our whole society might be a bit kinder.

Gift Guide, Week 1

Mama M at "Five Crooked Halos" had a nice idea for a gift guide — a blog hop where people share gift ideas. Week one is children's books. Here are two of our current favorites:
First, Fancy Nancy by Jane O'Connor


This series of books is perfect for Anne Marie, who definitely fancies herself as "fancy." They are all about a little girl who does everything a bit more fancy than the rest of the world, including using fancy words, dressing fancy and more. Adorable!


And, for my heart strings, I love "On the Night You Were Born," by Nancy Tillman.



The illustrations in this one are beautiful, and the message is beautiful as well. "On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, 'Life will never be the same.' Because there had never been anyone like you ... ever in the world."

So sweet.

Confessions of Motherhood

Working Mommy Wednesday is all about the true confessions of motherhood.




So, here goes, starting with the easy:

* I really miss cooking. We have dinner at home most nights, and I have solved the problem of trying to cook while being at home alone in the evenings with tired and angry children by using my crockpot every Monday and Wednesday without fail. But, with my full-time work schedule, I don't really ever get to COOK anything that takes effort. It's sad planning my meals for the week and skipping over anything that takes more than 20 minutes to prep. Anything that takes more than 20 minutes to cook has to be something that comes together easily and goes in the oven so I can forget about it until it's done. I actually like to chop vegetables. Cooking was once my stress release.

* I want to spend more time with my kids, of course. I am really happy that my husband and I have been able to make it work so that my kids are home many more days than at daycare, but I still get jealous on the days when I'm at work and he's at home. I wonder if he gets jealous when I'm at home on the weekends and he is at work.

* This is the biggest confession. People think that working moms get their adult time when they are at work. Yes, my co-workers are adults, but going to work is certainly not the same break as a movie with a friend or a bubble bath alone with a cup of tea. And what's more difficult is that working mothers (at least me) feel horribly guilty doing those sorts of things because we are already missing so much. I don't want to leave my kids for an hour in the evening because I've already left them the whole day. So those occasions are pretty rare, but sometimes I daydream about them.

* Most importantly, and all whining aside, it's all totally worth it.

A Happy Halloween Week

From Halloween 2010

So, Halloween was on a Sunday this year, which creates an interesting issue in Southeast Idaho -- trick-or-treat on Saturday or Sunday? We opted for going out on the actual holiday, since we were only going for a block or so anyway, and it turned out perfectly. We had trick-or-treaters on Saturday, so the kids got to hand out candy, and we went to a few awesomely decorated houses on Sunday. It was a nice, low-key ending to a LONG week of spooktacular fun.

We did it all (almost). We started the week before with Pocatello's Boo at the Zoo. It was fun to get out, and really nice to see the zoo full. Then, on Wednesday, we went to preschool pumpkin carving night at the library. Thursday was trick-or-treat at the Idaho Falls Zoo, which was my personal favorite. The zoo was lit up, the weather was nice, and the kids had a good time. Friday was trick-or-treat day at school (daycare) and Sunday was a party at Unca's house and trick-or-treating.

It was all fun, but I'm totally done.

Anne Marie was very happy to show off her costume — a purple butterfly.

From Halloween 2010

From Halloween 2010

Thomas the duck doesn't sit still for any kind of posing. I swear I have half as many photos of him as Anne Marie. Most look like this:

From Halloween 2010

Sometimes I can catch him on the other side:

From Halloween 2010

Sometimes I get Anne Marie to catch him for me.

From Halloween 2010