A post about boobs

I'll start by saying I'm not, by any means, a breastfeeding fanatic. I don't plan on breastfeeding Anne Marie until she's 5 or anything like that. I think it's fine to breastfeed in public, but I don't really do it (if people are at my house, I've been known to nurse in front of them, but I refrain from restaurants, malls, etc, and I always cover up.). Anne Marie has had formula when I haven't pumped enough for day care, and I don't think it's going to kill her.

But recently, I've heard some comments that just make me shiver a bit. I was talking to a woman recently who asked me if I was still breastfeeding. When I told her I was, she said, "That's good for you, I guess."

The "I guess" kind of took me off guard. To her it seemed strange that someone with a 10 month old would still be breastfeeding. No matter what I've heard from other people, I've always just assumed that most people, if they can, want to breastfeed their children for one year. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's heard of the health benefits. I know some people don't breastfeed for a year, but I can't imagine anyone thinking it wasn't a decent idea.

Breastfeeding was super-hard for Anne Marie and me. Without the support of people who just assumed I would be breastfeeding, I probably wouldn't have ever been able to do it. Anne Marie was born at 12:53 a.m. and by 6 a.m. there was a lactation consultant in my room, double-action mechanical pump in hand. I sat there like a cow for 15 minutes, and presented exactly 2 drops to send to the nicu. We went on like that every three hours, day and night, until finally I had enough to feed my daughter without supplementing formula.

But, being so small, she still couldn't latch on. The lactation consultant gave me a plastic nipple to wear so it would be easier for her. One or two times a day we would try breastfeeding, then give her a bottle. It went on like that for weeks. I was pretty sure I would be pumping milk, then feeding it through a bottle for a year. I wasn't excited.

Finally, Anne Marie got the hang of it, but she still wouldn't nurse without the fake nipple. So I took it everywhere. We couldn't go on a trip without two fake nipples packed into the diaper bag. Four months later, she finally gave up the plastic nipple, and we were off, just like a normal mother and baby. In all, it took 6 months of sometimes bizarre, always inconvenient maneuvering before we were nursing normally.

It took awhile to get to my point, but my point is that now it's finally easy. We don't have to wash bottles, and we don't have to carry formula. Probably best of all, breastmilk is free.

I know some women aren't lucky enough to have the support I had, and when it gets tough, they don't see another option besides quitting. And I know there are some women who just can't nurse at all. But I think many more women would continue to nurse if they had nothing more than someone telling them that's it's important, and that it will get easier. And more women would definitely continue to nurse if there weren't people out there who made them feel weird for doing so.

Anne Marie is 10 months old now, so in a few months, she and the boob will part ways. Regardless of what our society thinks, I feel satisfied that I've given her the best start I can, and I'm really glad that, in the beginning, I had people around me who didn't expect any less.

Happy turkey day!

Happy Thanksgiving! We're on our way to Missoula. Last year, we were in Twin Falls. Here's the highlights:

Alex and his granddad are like twins:


The dinner table:


The turkey:


The dog. She was very bad and rolled in poop. This is post-bath.

Go Griz!

Yay Grizzlies! They pretty much rule. What a great game!

Losing my religion...

I was listening to NPR on my way home from work the other day, and I heard some talk about the American Council of Catholic Bishops and their discussions of Catholics and voting.

At first, I agreed with them. They said that Catholics need to think about their moral stance when they vote, and that both parties have things that agree with, and disagree with Catholic teaching.

I've always voted based on my morals, and my faith. When I look at candidates, I look at how they treat the poor and less fortunate. I look at their polices dealing with low-income families and children. I think about how they treat the environment, because I believe God gave us the earth, and made us stewards over the animals and land. I look at their stance on the death penalty (if they are in a position to affect policy), because my faith tells me we don't have a right to kill people. It shows a disrespect for life.

The Council of Catholic Bishops did discuss some of these issues, but they focused on two they felt were the most important- abortion and same-sex marriage.

I do believe abortion is wrong. I don't think there is anyone who has been in a nicu and seen babies born that were only in the womb 27 weeks, struggling to survive, could say that life hasn't begun. But it isn't a voting issue to me. It's something to be discussed, but there is little a politician can or should do.

On the issue of same sex marriage, the church and I simply disagree. To me, being opposed to same-sex marriage is no different than being opposed to a bi-racial marriage. It's not our place to tell people who to love, and it shouldn't be our place to tell them who to marry.

I know the Catholic Church disagrees with me about same sex marriage, and I still go to church every week. Why? Because I see a church as an institution, trying its best to know what is right, but sometimes tripping along the way. Faith and prayer are unfailing.

I'm proud I'm Catholic, even though I don't always agree with my church's stances. It's the community that taught me how to be a good person, how to pray and how to live. It isn't the occasional discussion that makes up the church. It's 2,000 years of tradition and, more importantly, it's God. It's comforting to know that when I'm praying at Mass, there are millions of others around the world, praying in the same way.

And, at the end of the day, members and leaders of the church will still be debating issues like gay marriage and women priests, just like they were debating whether or not the world was round earlier in the church's history. But they won't be debating the important things.

And, God-willing, they will never debate the most important thing:
"And if I have the gift of prophecy, and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."

Good friends are hard to find

I absolutely cherish those few friends I have who, even if I haven't seen them for months, can just pick up right where we left off as if we weren't apart at all. Denise and Greg are those people.

This week, I was thrilled to hear they got a crazy hair and decided to drive 13 hours to visit for the long weekend. We met them at 5th Street Bagelry, and, even though it's been several months, it felt like they'd just called from a few blocks away and decided to get together, just like we use to. I've never had a more comfortable breakfast.

Good friends like that are hard to find, and I'm so blessed to have them. They are people who will do anything for me, and I'd do anything for them. It was a good feeling and an awesome weekend. I'm excited for the next one!

Baby jail

Go Grizzlies!

I went to Missoula this weekend for a Griz game. It was awesome! The game was really close- 31-34, but my Grizzlies still conquered. I never really cared about football in high school, but it's impossible to go to the University of Montana and not become a rabid fan.

I also love that town. I love Pocatello, but Missoula has some sort of magic about it. Downtown is quaint and fun, the scenery is beautiful, and it's where a lot of pivotal life-moments happened for me. Matt's parents live almost against a mountain. You don't really have to leave town to ski, hike or bike. In fact, it's exactly like Pocatello, only with a different personality.

I feel so incredibly lucky to live in the West. I know I've spent my entire life in Idaho and Montana, but I've never even visited anywhere else where I could imagine living. We really do have it all here. The mountains are beautiful, the people are friendly and the weather is perfect for me.