The fishing trip of doom

Matt and I are not fishermen. We love the outdoors, and I hike almost every weekend I have the chance. I have lots of friends who love to fish. I think it's a fine way to spend your day — I just don't do it.

But Anne Marie has been talking about fishing for awhile, and we happened to be in McCall on free fishing day to visit my grandmother and uncle. We decided to try it. Fish and Game provided all the equipment, and even though it had been decades, Matt and I went fishing when we were little a few times, and we understood the concepts.

Or so we thought.

I thought putting a worm on the hook would be the hardest part. I wanted to just put on the marshmallow they gave us, but the Fish and Game man said they were eating worms, so I put the worm on — not as hard as I thought.

On the 976th cast, I got the wormy hook in the water.

From McCall and fishing

I prayed that we wouldn't catch anything, but the pond was stocked so full that I'm sure the fish were all swimming fin to fin. Soon, we had a bite.

I wish I had video of what happened next. I pulled in the fish, and it flopped out of the water. I grabbed it, and tried to take out the hook, but the poor thing looked me in the eye. I dropped her.

"Catch that fish!"I shouted to Matt as she flopped towards the water, hook still in her mouth.

"I don't touch dead things!" he screamed back.

I summoned all my strength and caught that fish, although I couldn't put the poor thing out of her misery. We had to keep it — my uncle needs routines in his life, and when he catches a fish, he eats it. Also, if we would have tossed the poor thing back, I don't think it would have made it anyway.

I remembered my grandfather whacking fish on a rock — it turned me off to fishing forever, I believe. I'm sure it's the most humane thing, but I couldn't do it.

I went to the Fish and Game guy and said, "I have a mostly-dead fish, and I don't have anything to put it in."

He laughed and gave me a string with a pointy end. "Just put this through the mouth and gills," he said.

Oh, God.

I tried. I couldn't. I gave the fish to Matt. He couldn't. My mom said, "Oh no," and she did it.

Anne Marie didn't get the concept. She wandered around, saying, "Poor fish. Maybe the worm we gave her will help."

I thought about my granddad, looking down from heaven on us. At first, I thought he was maybe laughing. But I know my granddad. He's probably still cussing.

We ended up with two fish — my uncle wanted to keep fishing after the fiasco. The second one went slightly better.

From McCall and fishing

From McCall and fishing

I won't even tell you about the fish cleaning. Uggh.

So we did it. "I hope this never happens again," I thought as we put the kids in the car.

I returned the fishing pole.

"You can have it," the Fish and Game guy said. "So you guys can go fishing again."

So now Anne Marie has a fishing pole. Who wants to take her fishing?

The rest of the trip to McCall was fun. We had picnics, ran around, went geocaching and Anne Marie and Thomas spent lots of quality time with their great-grandma and uncle.

From McCall and fishing

From McCall and fishing