Thursday, February 26, 2009

Another reason to be suspicious of the medical profession

Why am I still here, sans baby, you ask? You might as well ask- everyone does. :)

Normally, being overdue wouldn't be a big deal. It happens to a lot of people. But on Saturday, Feb. 21, the day after my due date, I had contractions. They were pretty good ones, for about an hour, then nothing. Every day since, I have had 1-2 hours of contractions, then nothing. I'm getting pretty dang tired.

But on Tuesday, there was hope. I went to the midwife appointment. She said I was 4.5 centimeters dialated or a "stretchy 5." I was also 75 percent effaced, the baby was in my pelvis and she said my cervix was "soft as butter." She told me there was no way I would last the night without going into labor. She told me not to even make my next prenatal appointment. She also predicted the baby would be at least 9 pounds, and labor would be fast since I've already done half the work. I should have been more suspicious. :)

So here I am, almost Friday and no baby, no scheduled doctor appointment next week. Still I get 1-2 hours of contractions per day, and still it stops. My stomach muscles feel like they are slowly running a marathon. Last night my mother and grandmother sat around panicking that I wouldn't make the 45 minute drive, and so finally, Matt, Anne Marie and I drove to her house to await the labor they were both sure would come. We stayed most of the day today, Thursday, did some aerobic walking to induce labor and still, nothing. Dumb. So we drove back tonight, saying that, with our luck, labor will start at 4 a.m. and we'll be back. Honestly, that would be fine with me. I'm ready to be done. It's not the overdue that bothers me. It's the uncertainty.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Poor Anne Marie

Poor Anne Marie's second birthday has been celebrated in bits and pieces. But, after a long time waiting, here's a little birthday post for my sweetie.

From Anne Marie hospital


First, a little bit about your coming. It all started Jan. 22 at my 3 p.m. appointment. The doctor said, "You are sick. You need to walk over to the hospital and be induced."

So I did. And, after a lot of arguing and cajoling, long story short, it didn't work. You weren't supposed to make your appearance until March 3, but you picked Jan. 24, just after midnight.

I was really worried about you, and whether or not you were big enough. They pulled you out, and your papa left me and ran to your side of the operating room. I yelled, "Is she big enough," and he yelled back "She's OK." Then the two of you were gone.

I wasn't there, but I'm guessing that you got poked and prodded a bit during your early hours. By the time I was out of the operating room, you had x-rays, ivs and a repirator. I got to see you for a brief moment that night- I remember holding your hand and saying, "You don't look anything like what I pictured."

It was true. I thought you were going to be a huge, bald, fat baby. Instead, you had a wild head of black hair, and looked like a skinny little scrapper. Thank goodness. Most of the other tiny babies in the nicu looked like little china dolls- always asleep and very breakable. You were tiny, but you definitely didn't look like a china doll. You looked like you were ready to fight someone. I think it helped you bust out of the hospital a little sooner.

Since then, you've grown into about the smartest, cutest thing I've ever seen. Here's 10 of many things I love about you.

1. I love that you have several words to describe yourself: "Pretty, gorgeous, cute" There will never be a self-esteem problem for you.

2. You love to sing, and you are great at memorizing songs and poems.

3. You spread the "Pretty" comments around. This morning, when you said, "Mama, you look so pretty," it made me feel pretty good, even though I was wearing only a t-shirt and underwear, with the Thomas belly hanging out.

4. You believe you can "make a princess" by spinning around in a circle like Cinderella did.

5. You're tough.

6. You don't back down from a fight- I don't mind arguing with you when you insist that picture is a yellow circle, not a blue square. You might be wrong, but I'm glad you stick to your convictions.

7. Even at 2, you understand that there is a time to be quiet and a time to be loud, and you always oblige.

8. You love to entertain, and you always put on a good show.

9. When I ask about how things went at daycare, you almost always have a good story- even if it's simple. "Wells played with his nuk. Ruston took it. Anne Marie saw it." Let's hope you keep telling me these stories in high school.

10. You're great on a car ride- you always seem to keep busy, whether we're able to entertain you or not.

You're a wonderful blessing to both your papa and I, and we're forever glad you came, even if you were a bit early.

Last year:
From first birthday


This year:
From cinderella dress, Thanksgiving and Jackson

Friday, January 30, 2009

A birthday and a passing

After a long week, my grandfather passed away on Saturday, Jan. 24, Anne Marie's second birthday. It was a long week. I didn't have a real father, and my granddad, along with a few other people, filled that role for me. I'm going to miss him a lot.

When I knew my grandfather's death was imminent, I thought we'd just postpone Anne Marie's birthday until things were a little calmer. But, on the day of her birthday, before we knew Granddad was gone, my grandmother said we had to get her a cake, and she called relatives who hadn't arrived yet, and told them to pick up presents on the way. It was only an hour or so later that my grandfather died.

At about 5 p.m., my grandma cleared the kitchen table, and set up the cake. We sang Happy Birthday and opened presents. It was a nice diversion, and it put a smile on everyone's face. In fact, I think that little girl was a blessing throughout my family's tough time. I took her with me to the hospital to see my grandfather and pray with the priest after he was taken off the respirator- the doctors said he would live 30 minutes, and he lived for more than 30 hours. While the priest was praying, Anne Marie sat behind my grandmother and quietly patted her back.

At the funeral Mass, Anne Marie didn't make a peep. I'm not talking about a typical toddler's good day in church. I mean she sat there completely silent for the entire hour, quietly laying in my lap. The only movement she made was when she took a Mary prayer card and held it up to show it to the statue of Mary. It's funny, but it's how I knew my Granddad was there- he didn't tolerate misbehavior during Mass. :) At the burial, she was quiet, didn't try to run around, and even said "Amen" at the right time. All this was after three trips to Twin Falls in the car, several days without a nap and several late nights that ended in hotel rooms.

So here's a few things about both my grandfather and my little girl, who now share a special day:

Ten things I love about Granddad:

1. He was an incredibly spiritual man- he converted to Catholicism after thinking about it for 17 years. It wasn't a decision he took lightly. I think too many people today convert to different religions just to please someone, rather than following their heart. He followed his heart.

2. He cared a lot about his family, and his gifts were always well-thought out. Most of the time, Christmas gifts came from "Grandma and Grandddad," but they were really from my grandma. But, once in awhile, I would get something special from him. When that happened, it was obvious he had thought about it awhile. He made me a dollhouse and doll bed. He made me, my brother and mother stilts. One year, he got us all tackle boxes.

3. He had funny sayings I never heard anywhere else. At his burial, all I could think was, "It's colder than a witches' tit out here." Not a PC saying, but it sure stuck in my mind. :)

4. He took us fishing and skiing.

5. He had an incredible sweet tooth- the man LOVED pie and candy.

6. He was absolutely thrilled to have a great-granddaughter.

7. He was proud of his World War II service, but didn't care for all the show and recognition.

8. He took wonderful care of a son with Down Syndrome in a time when most children with Down Syndrome were institutionalized.

9. He always appreciated a visit.

10. He knew every single lake in the Sawtooths, and could always tell us if it was worth the hike.


Ten things I love about Anne Marie... coming at nap time.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Pioneer woman and belly photos

First, some whale photos. I'm actually losing weight every time I go to the doctors, but she says the belly is still growing fine- my only problem is that it is now taking up my entire pelvis and lap at precisely the same time Anne Marie has a renewed love of being rocked in the rocking chair. The first is 35 weeks. Second is 31 weeks. Matt got the first one out of focus- how does that happen with auto focus? The rest of the 35 week ones I tried to take myself and messed up even worse.

From Blogger Pictures


From Blogger Pictures



Also, I'm feeling like a pioneer woman these days. We've been lucky enough to have someone supplying us with eggs from their chickens in exchange for Matt's homemade beer (how pioneering is that- eggs from chickens AND the bartering system?) and we're subsisting on elk meat from Matt's brother and dad. It's saving a ton of money! I suppose we'd be more pioneering if we raised the chickens/slaughtered the elk, but I'm still pretty excited.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Stolen

I stole this from Jeni, but it seemed a good way to recap 2008.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Ran 9 miles in one stretch.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I really don't make them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one super-close. Some friends did.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Butte, MT

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
I want to run a marathon.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I'm probably too tired to do this. I'm not sure if I remember any dates. Sometime in June I found out I was pregnant - don't remember the date, but I remember the setting. Matt gets off work. I say, "come here, I need your opinion." I show him the test, and say, "do you think that's a positive?" He says, "I think it might be." I say, "Whoa, weird."
July 11 Matt's brother got married, and we went to Glacier that week for our first real family weekend without any extended relatives. Then a week later we went to Redfish Lake for our family reunion.

8. What was your biggest personal achievement of the year?
A healthier pregnancy, not allowing as much stress in my life.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My inability to control my fast-food habit.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just some icky colds.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A refinanced mortgage.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Anne Marie's. She's really a good little girl. She travels well, is slow to throw a fit, and has a great grasp of the English language!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Both the Democratic and Republican parties. The state Democrats for their dirty tactics in the Minnick/Sali race, and their excitement over winning when their focus on that particular race caused them to lose several around the state. There was ridiculous name-calling in our county commission on both sides. There were racist comments that were allowed and considered acceptable in the National Republican party. Pretty disgusting year for politics.

14. Where did most of your money go?
I have no idea, but it's gone.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting our mortgage refinanced. Now I'm really excited about Thomas Michael cannellini.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"Twinkle twinkle little star," and "Frosty the Snowman." Anne Marie learned all the words to both this year.


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
a) Sadder. It's a tough time for our country, and I hate to think of people who are hurting.
b) fatter. I have a bowling ball belly. I think without that, I would probably have been a little thinner.
c) It's hard to say- we're always poor this time of year.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
running, cleaning.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Working.


20. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No, but I was already in love.

21. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office, Law and Order and Desperate Housewives.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No

23. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read enough. I read cookbooks this year. Sad.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Sadly, I didn't have one of those either.

25. What did you want and get?
Some quality time spent with Matt before the next baby was born.

26. What did you want and not get?
A car that will fit everyone, including Thomas and Rosa ... it's planned for 2009.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I loved Lars and the Real Girl too, Jeni, but I never would have thought of it on my own!

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30. I'm not sure what I did! I'm getting too old to remember.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
It really was pretty satisfying. I had my family and we were healthy and happy. I would have liked to have been able to spend more time with Anne Marie, and I wish my dearest friends were closer.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Awesome, as always.

31. What kept you sane?
I'm not sure I am sane. :)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Merry belated Christmas!

From Christmas2008


I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! (Greg, this Rosa photo is for you)

For the first time in my adult life, I didn't have to travel for the actual Christmas day. It was nice. We did, however, get an early Christmas when we went to Missoula to see Matt's parents Dec. 21-23. It was a LONG trip back, and we broke the CV joint in the car when we returned, but we still had a great time.


Even though Anne Marie wouldn't talk to Santa, he took pity on her and was VERY good to her this year. Her favorites: a set of doll accessories (stroller, playpen, bouncer, tummy time mat, nuk), a big bundle of blocks and a Memory game from her Grandma. She impressed me with that Memory Game! My mom got out a set of the little cards with five matching pairs. She didn't miss one. She remembered where every match was every time. That girl is observant. I have to be careful.

Her doll stuff has shown me how precise a toddler can be. When Santa put the stuff under the tree, he stuck one doll in the play pen, another in the stroller, another on the tummy time mat, etc. Now, that is where each of those dolls belong. Bobbi must sit in the stroller, but cannot go in the playpen. Susie cannot leave the tummy time mat. Anne Marie was a bit sad that the playpen was so small. She loves to sit in them!

From Christmas2008


Every day since Christmas, Anne Marie has spent the entire day "playing toys." She's still excited and overwhelmed, and her birthday is less than a month away. She loves her new shoes, and wouldn't let me take them off for a nap yesterday.

From Christmas2008


We had a very white Christmas- it didn't stop snowing and blowing the entire day. In the afternoon, we built a pretty good snowman (almost Snowzilla :)) In my honor, Alex and Matt made it pregnant.

From Christmas2008



I was really excited about the sling I got for Christmas. I had a ring sling with Anne Marie, and I never really got the hang of it. This one is awesome, and I believe it will be really necessary with a toddler still in s stroller. I practiced with Freddy, and he stayed in there for more than an hour!

From Christmas2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

No Santa!

I have no clue why I obsess over this. My daughter is scared of quite a few things. She wants nothing to do with any stuffed animals that move or talk, although she loves ones that just play music. She doesn't even want to go into Costco for fear that she might see that Kota Triceratop or the big stuffed dog that obeys commands. So why would I think she would like Santa?

And yet, I keep trying. First try, Festival of Trees. We waited in line, and when we got there Santa (who had a real beard and looked just like a regular old man) said "Hello." Anne Marie said, "No Santa." There was no scene, just vigorous head shaking. He asked her if she wanted to sit on his lap, and she said, "No Santa." So we walked away, and she waved and said "Bye Santa." Then it was a repeated "No Santa" through the entire festival.

Next attempt: day care. They had photos with Santa when you picked up your child. It was a fundraiser: $2 and they print you one and send you a copy via e-mail. I figured since her classmates were doing it, she would be pumped. So we looked in the window, where her little classmate Adam was just leaving Santa. "No Santa!" We went inside. "No Santa!" After we left, I told her how Santa comes to our house and brings us presents. Probably to the shock of the parents around me, I told my not-yet 2 year old that since she wouldn't talk to Santa, he had no idea what to bring to her, and that he was probably really sad (see how sick and manipulative Santa makes me). Then I told her Santa was one of the fun parts of Christmas. "No Christmas," she says.

So today is Book Babies, one of her favorite weekly events. Santa is coming. I told Anne Marie Santa might be at Book Babies, and asked her if she wanted to say hello. She said, "No Book Babies." I might be giving up.