Mini-Me

This morning was rough. For the past three days, Thomas has wanted to wear his Thomas the Tank Engine pajamas all day, and I need him to wear real clothes to school so he doesn't mess up his beloved shirt. So we fight, I get clothes on him and eventually it all works out.

Well, today he decided he wanted to wear his Thomas the Tank sandals. Normally, that would be just fine, but he can't wear open-toed shoes at daycare, where they are outside running and playing all day and could trip. He wouldn't choose another shoe, so I started to put on his brown sandals with a closed toe. He was screaming and making quite the scene.

Enter Anne Marie. She sees her brother, and bursts into tears.

"Can't you see he wants his spiderman shoes?" she sobs. "Why won't you let him wear them?" She comforts her brother, holding him and saying, "Don't worry- I'll get mama to put on your spiderman shoes. It will be OK. It's OK."

Eventually, Thomas agreed to wear Spiderman shoes and Elmo socks (as a side note, how can two kids without access to any tv but netflix get so character-conscious?). I relayed the story to my mom who said, "See how hard it is to raise a mother?"

She was implying that I, like Anne Marie, spent a lot of my childhood "mothering" others. I'm a little bit bossy, a little bit controlling, and a whole lot worried about whether others around me are treated appropriately and behaving themselves. Like mother, like daughter.


It might sound a bit cocky, but I love that Anne Marie is a lot like me, even in the ways that drive me crazy, like when I feel like I have a mini mother around- always checking to make sure I have my seatbelt buckled and telling me to make sure I don't hit anything when I am driving.

I love that she is in her own world a lot of the time. It drives me crazy when it takes forever for us to go anywhere, but I understand her elaborate games of pretend that make up much of her life. I remember trying to hike ahead of my family when I was little just so I could better create my fantasy of walking through the woods as a pioneer like Laura Ingalls. I lowered dolls out of our house window playing "escape from the orphanage." I look in her eyes when she is playing by herself, and I know these are the things that are going through her head.

From Drop Box

This, for example, is a crown, fairy wings and a wand. I love that it works for her, and that she doesn't need something more realistic to play.

Of course, she's different from me in a lot of ways too. I have a really hard time being patient about her fears, and I am still struggling to accept that she might like a different type of sport than I did growing up.

But, with all the similarities and differences, I just love that little girl.

This post brought to you by:




The prompt was: We often spend time and energy talking about people in our lives we don’t see enough of. Describe a person in your life you are in contact with often. What does he/she mean to you?

SUMMER HOURS

My ode to summer hours:

Now that it finally feels like summer here, I can really enjoy summer hours. Instead of the traditional 8-5, in the summer I get to work 7:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. The difference is unbelievably awesome. Getting off at 5 feels like evening. Getting off at 4 is in the afternoon.

Last night, we were home by 4:15. Dinner was on the table by 5:15, we'd gone to the store for a t-shirt for Anne Marie's tie dying at daycare by 6:15, and by 6:45, we were setting up a backyard campfire for s'mores and playing in the shade.

Tonight, I'm picking up the kids and driving them 30 minutes to a swimming pool, where we will have dinner and still have time for a couple of hours in the pool before heading home.

With summer hours, we have time for hiking after work, playing after work and having remarkably less stress in the evenings. I love it!

PHOTO BOMB

Ha! Thomas is really good at these. Note the snotty nose- perfect for photo bombing his sister's dancing photos.

From Anne Marie Dance Recital

Summer Bucket List

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop asked for a list of 50 things I want to do this summer. 50?! We will see:

1. Run through some sprinklers
2. Try at least one of the myriad self-serve frozen yogurts in town.
3. Go to Lava Hot Springs.
4. Go to Indian Springs.
5. Go to Craters of the Moon.
6. Go to Grand Teton Park
7. Go to a minor-league baseball game.
8. Fly a kite.
9. Have a picnic
10. Camp in the backyard.
11. Camp somewhere else.
12. Keep my garden alive.
13. Hike at least once a week.
14. Go to lots of outdoor concerts.
15. Backyard bonfire.
16. See the fireworks.
17. Go to the zoo lots and lots.
18. Potty-train a kid.
19. Paint a room
20. tie dye some shirts.
21. Run somewhere.
22. Ride my bike to work
23. Grill and grill.
24. Go on a date with Matt.
25. Get to Missoula for a trip.
26. Take Anne Marie on a boat ride- she says she isn't scared this year.
27. Go to some movies.
28. Play mini golf.
29. Play disc golf.
30. Make a frosty dessert.
31. Make smores.
32. Drink a pina colada or a margarita.
33. Read a book.
34. Lose15 pounds.
35. Relax.
36. Help out my mom.
37. Freeze chocolate covered bananas.
38. Geocache
39. Go to Farmer's Market.
40. Go star gazing.
41. Eat watermelon.
42. Eat corn.


Dang! That's all I had, but I believe I'm going to do it all. :)

Healthy, Happy Kids

For the second time in a row, I'm veering from the prompts for Working Mommy Wednesday, but I'd love to hear the opinions of other working moms on this thought I had today, so I'm still linking up. Hope no one minds! :)

I was out this morning on a short walk to clear my head at work. As I walked through campus, I saw my daughter's day care class running across the lawn, screaming. They got to a tree, giggling, and stopped and waited for the teacher. As she got close, she said, "OK! Go for it!" They all ran in the sprinklers, playing and having a wonderful time. My son's day care class was out on the playground this morning, but last week I saw them on the lawn too. They had about 20 balls of various sizes, and the kids were carrying them up a hill, then throwing them down, laughing.

In slight contrast, there was a woman outside with her two children sitting right outside my building. When the two kids saw the other kids running by, they asked if they could run down the hill. The mom said, "No, I'm on the phone."

There was nothing wrong with either scene. The mom wasn't wrong not to let her kids go play when she couldn't watch them that far away — and it could be that they were on their way to something awesome later. But it reminded me of something that really bothered me a few years ago.

I had happened upon the Dr. Laura radio show. The woman has a sometimes abrasive demeanor, but a lot of times her advice to people is good. It seems as though people either love or hate the woman, and I don't really think I'm in either category.

But what I heard that day was disturbing. She described a daycare, with children weeping as their mothers left and not being comforted. She talked about how the children are only let outside to walk on leashes. The obvious mental image was of hundreds of children, probably dirty, definitely ignored, who didn't get to see the sun during the day. That image was so vivid that it stayed in my mind, despite the fact that I had dropped a happy kid off with a caring child care provider earlier.

Some day cares aren't good. When I was looking for child care the first time, I toured some places where I wouldn't want to drop off my kids. But honestly, is the answer really that children are always better off at home, no matter what? I've heard the argument.

I have wonderful stay-at-home mom friends who are always doing something fun and interesting with their children. Their kids are happy, well-adjusted and learning new things every day. I also know some stay-at-home moms who rely heavily on television and in actuality spend very little time focused on spending time with their kids.

In the world Dr. Laura described that day, those two children who were sitting, waiting for their mother to get off the phone were infinitely better off than the 10 happy kids racing through the sprinkler, because it was their mom with them, not someone who was getting paid. I don't buy it.  Those two kids seemed like healthy, happy kids, but so did the poor victims of child care.

I think there are lots of wonderful ways to raise a child, not just one. For our family, it's three days a week playing with lots of other children and four days a week at home, playing with Matt and me. For others, it could be spending all day each day with a mom or dad, learning new things and exploring the world. For others, it might be spending the day snuggling with grandma.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that when we make those blanket statements, such as the ones Dr. Laura made that day, perhaps we're not looking at the whole picture. And, worse, we're not being supportive of each other as mothers. After all, aren't we all mothers? Stay-at-home moms, working moms, working-from-home moms, moms of one, moms of five — all just moms.

The idea that something can't be different, and always has to be demonized is like a disease running through our culture. We can no longer disagree with someone's political opinions but still see them as good people — we have to consider them stupid or evil.  Out in the Internet, we scrutinize whether someone has their child outdoors too little or too much. We discuss car seat brands as if someone with a less-expensive brand somehow cares about their children less. We can't just accept that some people wear their babies and others use a stroller, or some breastfeed and some bottle feed. It can't be different — it has to be wrong. We use these things to define us and separate us, and I think it's silly.

I could call myself a working, often Democrat, pro-life, anti-death penalty, disposable diaper buying, sometimes baby-wearing, minivan-driving, non-organic-vegetable-buying mom who didn't have her son circumsized, breastfed her kids until they were almost 2 and is horrible at budgeting.

I would rather just call myself a mom with healthy, happy kids.

Who is cold?

Over-bundled up children have always been a mystery to me.

I put coats on my children, just like anyone else. If it's really cold, I have no problem adding a hat and mittens. But it seems the people around me think I'm trying to freeze them.

I hear it all the time. When Anne Marie was about 7 or 8 months old, a woman scolded me for taking her into the refrigerated vegetable section at Costco in shorts and a tank top. When Thomas was about that age, someone told me that his feet were blue, and that either the baby wrap he was in was cutting off the circulation, or his feet were too cold. He wasn't wearing shoes, but it wasn't that cold. His feet were blue because the socks he had worn earlier dyed them.

Yesterday, I picked Thomas up from daycare, and he was wearing someone else's coat, because I had neglected to bring him one. I didn't send him with a coat, because it's JUNE (a cool June, but still). It was about 65 degrees outside. Did he really need a coat? Of course, yesterday I brought a coat, and I saw him out playing in his sleeveless shirt. It was 65 degrees yesterday, too.

Maybe my kids will grow up and move to Florida because they've been cold all their lives, but for now, I think they're fine.

Brought to you by:


The writing prompt this week was: We’re too old to be getting in trouble…aren’t we? Write about a time you were scolded…as an adult.

Six Word Memoir

No kids at home. Sleeping tonight!

Brought to you by: 

A Tale of Sleep (Or Lack of Sleep)

9:00 p.m. It's been about 15 minutes and the kids are still up. Anne Marie is crying because Thomas won't be quiet.  Thomas is banging his Elmo doll on the wall. I take it away. He gets up and starts running around. I tell him that if he doesn't get back to bed, I will take away his pacifier. He throws it in the air behind him and shouts, "You'll never find it now!" I take it off the floor and leave.

9:15 p.m. Thomas realizes the error he made. He believes he has actually thrown the pacifier into some other dimension. When I tell him he can have his pacifier if he gets back in bed and lays down, he cries, saying, "never, ever, ever find Nuk anywhere. Nuk not at home anymore." He lays back down and I magically make the Nuk appear. He goes to sleep.

10:45 p.m.: I went to bed. I never go to bed that early. I was super-pumped, thinking about all the sleep I am going to get.

11:15 p.m. Anne Marie is crying in her room. I ask why- she says because she "wants me." We talk about different ways she can go to sleep on her own, then back to bed.

11:55 p.m. Anne Marie is dancing around in the hallway, eyes still closed and crying. I wake her up enough to ask her if she needs to use the bathroom. She does, then back to bed.

12:56 a.m. Thomas is screaming. I go into his room and he calms down. Back to bed.

1:07 a.m. Thomas realizes I'm gone. He screams, "MAMA! MAMA! WAIT!" I leave him for a bit, but he's revving up rather than calming down, and I don't want to wake his sister (they share a room). So, I'm in there again. He calms down, and back to bed.

1:29 a.m. "MAMA! MAMA! WAIT!"

1:35 a.m. "MAMA! MAMA! WAIT!" This time, Matt goes in. He screams, "NO! I NEED MAMA," then is back to sleep.

1:59 a.m. "MAMA! MAMA! WAIT!" I go in.

2:04 a.m. Thomas crashes. I go to bed.

2:05 a.m. Matt's alarm goes off. He has to meet a shuttle to the airport at 3:35 a.m. He hits the snooze.

2:23 a.m. I hear the alarm again. Matt gets up.

3:32 a.m. Matt comes in to say goodbye. I see the time on the clock, and groggily wonder if he will make the shuttle. I fall back asleep.

6:04 a.m. My alarm goes off. I cry.

I know this isn't the Working Mommy Wednesday prompt this week, but I just couldn't bear to write a sweet letter, or to think of any productive goals. Basically, I'd just love to know that someone else has sat at work in a coma before.