Nobody told me...

Julia at Work Wife Mom Life asked this week for 10 things you wish someone would have told you about motherhood. I only have three, because I was long-winded and got tired. :)


1. Sometimes, you have to be tougher than you otherwise would be, and it’s your kids who help you do that.
I’m not the type to break down in tough or scary situations. I usually try to get things done, and get through whatever issue we have as unscathed as possible. But there have been times when I know I’ve held it together so my kids didn’t have to be scared or feel insecure, and we haven’t even had anything big happen.
About a year ago, we bought a horrible SUV that turned out to be a lemon. Here is a photo of the car. Looks innocent, doesn't it? It's not.

From Emily Juggles

In its second of several major breakdowns, we were traveling down the freeway in a busy section (busy for Idaho). I was alone with both kids in the car — Thomas was five months old and Anne Marie was 2. Every time a semi, or even a car, passed, my entire vehicle shook. I called the roadside assistance on my insurance.
The person on the roadside assistance line told me we were two hours from the nearest town, then mentioned the name of a town that I know has less than 50 people and NO tow trucks. I told her I had lived in the area most of my life, and there was a town of 15,000 people and several tow companies just 10 minutes away. She told me there wasn’t, then I lost the connection.
She called back, and said she found a nearer tow truck, but they wouldn’t be there for two hours. Then I told her I would call the police, get a nearer truck and they would reimburse me. She told me it was fine. I called the police, found a tow truck willing to be there in 10 minutes. After that, roadside assistance called me back and said that she had found a closer tow truck too, and that if I didn’t cancel the one I had chosen, they wouldn’t reimburse me. I politely told her to go to hell.
Thank goodness I did. The tow truck she had found called me moments later, and said they weren’t coming at all. I would have been stuck forever.
While I was having these conversations, Thomas was screaming. He decided to blow out his diaper, and there was poop all over his seat. We couldn’t get out of the car and stand on the side of the road away from the freeway because the side of the freeway was a sea of lava rocks. I took his carrier and moved him so he wasn’t on the side of the car nearest the freeway, changed the diaper and considered doing a primal scream. I was scared we were going to be hit, and unsure if any tow truck was actually coming.
But instead of the scream, I held it together. It’s what my mom would have done. She never made us privy to her worries, even when they were big. I asked her the other day how she afforded our swim lessons and soccer as a single mother with no child support on a small salary.
“Sometimes,” she said, “I literally cried over spilled milk. I cried when you guys spilled your milk because we didn’t have money for more.”
I never knew we were that close to total poverty because she never let me know. I hope I can be that tough.
2. Everyone knows how to raise children as well or better than you.
Sometimes advice is good, sometimes it’s not. Just take it all in and smile. Use what you can and don’t worry too much about the rest.
3. Parenthood is exhausting.
People say that it gets better after the first few months, but after three years of parenthood (hardly an expert), I don’t believe it. There is always something happening that will exhaust you, at least so far. I really am not sure if I will ever sleep again.